I was just thinking about you and decided to read what was happening on your end since I don’t get to read your Facebook posts anymore, but I feel so sad for you Janie. You let others talk you out of what you once knew to be true. That is what Satan wanted all along and he sure did get you good. I hope that one day you will come back and feel the goodness and mercy of the Atonement of the Savior. He loves you. And He weeps for this choice you have made. But He also awaits with open arms.

This is just a peek into Mormon passive aggression. I just want to break down this comment since there may be other readers thinking the same thing.

1. “I feel so sad for you Janie.”

I have also had someone say to my face “You are so sad.” to which I replied no in fact I am not and that is offensive… to which they came back with “No you are saaaaadddd” (Picture puppy dog face and condescension)

To anyone who is concerned, I am genuinely not sad. There were dark times coming to the realization that what I believed and what I was taught, and what I was teaching my children was inaccurate. Being on the fence, living for a year+ as an active Mormon deciding how to proceed, fighting for answers. That was hard. Life now is sweet and full of freedom and active truth seeking. Even IF I was sad, or IF you feel sad for me that is generally a rude thing to haphazardly claim about some one’s life especially through a blog comment. I’d reserve statements of that nature for your closest friends and family.

2. “You let others talk you out of what you once knew to be true.”

OH MY STARS ABOVE. no. just no. No one talked me out of anything, In fact there was NO one to really talk to about this. This has inspired me to fully address my deconversion story it is way too much to outline in one post. But this sentence alone shows me that the person is not really a blog reader of mine, did not follow my faith crisis posts or does not have the intellect to follow the reasoning that I had to go through.

Or how about this? Talk me back into it. Who even talked me into the church in the first place? I was baptized when I still believed in Santa Claus. Think about that for a minute. I took the Gospel SERIOUSLY, I stumbled onto questionable church history WHILE I WAS BEING A GOOD MEMBER MISSIONARY. I took the entire process slowly from the first two emails to close friends to talks with the Bishops and scriptorians not a single issue I have struggled with has been met with satisfactory answers. So before you throw out something as simple as that someone talked me out of…. why don’t you address the issues instead?

3. “what Satan wanted all along and he sure did get you good. ”

Oh I forgot how shame ridden and fearful the gospel truly is… Satan is out to get you and don’t stray from whatever correlated church materials there are or the scriptures because social isolationists and the Devil await. This is what my life looks like now:

I raise my children, I take care of my home (not well enough) Kyle and I are madly in love, we watch a little TV at night sometimes religious vs. atheism debates and yell at the logical fallacies like its football, if we get to bed after the kids but before we are exhausted we make love, I read too much and blab some on facebook, I breastfeed two babies several times a day, I am building new friendships, I teach and help moms have great births, I take my kids to the park, sometimes we swim, soon I will have four in school, we barely scrap by but still try to give a little to things like the Wounded Warriors Project and Midwifery charities. I might say more bad words than I like but I do try hard to help others.

If I am the product of Satan’s evil grasp then the world should not be too worried. I think most would be ok with me as a neighbor.

Public Service Announcment – Satan does not exist – I already addressed that here.

4. ” I hope that one day you will come back and feel the goodness and mercy of the Atonement of the Savior ”

I find the concept of the Atonement illogical. I addressed that here

And there is no need for you to hope or worry, I prayed haaard, hard, hard when I was going through this and I made it clear to any deities anywhere what I would need for belief. I’ll let you know if they get back to me. Answers would also be good … but those aren’t to be had. Just ask this guy.

5. “He loves you.”

And Santa Claus loves you.

6. “And He weeps for this choice you have made.”

And… we are back to shame. This is the ‘I know what Jesus thinks’, I have peered into his thoughts and he told me that you made him cry.

So thank you for coming to my blog and letting me know I made Jesus cry. Since you can know his thoughts can you also let me know if it made him cry when his Prophet Joseph Smith married a 14 year old girl, even though she didn’t want to?

7. “But He also awaits with open arms.”

Ok cool. Since ya’ll are so tight and all, can you get him a message?

There are babies dying from malaria …


‘preciate it. Polaroid


2 thoughts on “Don’t cry for me … In which I address a patronizing blog comment.

  1. Fantastic blog. Bravo for standing up for yourself like this. That sort of patronizing is ingrained in many of us whom grew up in religious households. You are the only one that knows what is true for you. it takes a lot of confidence not to allow others to shame you or make you wrong. Thank you for sharing your experiences and perspectives with us.

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