I feel a change lately. Can you feel it? It’s something in the air, it’s the coincidental occurrences of the same things to different people. It’s an anxiety, a lump in my throat; it’s confusion and wonder. It’s universal. Or am I the only one?
Is it since the election? I am not sure.
Is it since the new year? It isn’t clear to me.

Life seems more painful in general… and to everyone. Am I just seeing others’ pain because I am feeling it? Honestly, there is nothing for me to feel pain about, and yet I am feeling it.

Since the election and – around the same time – the Sandy Hook Elementary School incident, I have heard more about guns that I’ve ever cared to. I am hit over the head with guns – either to regulate them or for us all to carry them. It doesn’t matter really. I simply don’t want to think about guns… They are what they are. They have become no more important nor any less important – I JUST DON’T LIKE LOOKING AT THEM. I wish I didn’t have to. How did we get to this place?

Are people uneasy because of that? Has Texas lost its ever-loving mind?! There is this surge of… angry hatred, of “Fire It Up!” mentality (have you seen The Crow by any chance?). There are great divides where there used to be rolling hills. We seem to be getting further away from each other instead of closer together.

People are ill. Babies are dying. And yes, this occurs all the time – not just since January 1, 2013. But it seems like more babies are dying, tragically. Or at least it’s more illuminated to me now. People are sick – my grandfather being one of them. Lots of people are suffering with their health. Illness seems ever-present. Am I wrong on this? Either I am reading about how people won’t even eat rice because of the potential arsenic level in it, or I am seeing Girl Scouts sell a record number of extremely unhealthy cookies to us. It is so polar opposite. The extremes of the health continuum are being magnified. It’s either deaths and cancer – or raw foodists parading around with vegan necklaces.

Where is the balance anymore? Where is the middle ground?

Really, Texas? 250,000 of you signed the (pointless) petition to secede? That blows my mind.

20080626-BackyardChickensMy own city that began as a farming community has sent me 2 letters since November demanding I get rid of my 7 backyard chickens. Come on. It seems like the world is a big, important place with lots of things going on in it, and my chickens are part of the problem? A few chickens in someone’s yard are cause for concern? It is beyond me how this matters to anyone. It’s beyond me why it is against rules for me to keep pretty quiet, fairly clean, egg machines in my backyard. But – on the other hand – it isn’t a general cause for concern when huge chicken farms abuse and crowd their chickens on a daily basis, cut off their beaks and feed them the cheap and unimaginable.

But maybe I’m not comparing apples to apples.
Technically, of course, by living in my community, by purchasing my home and by paying my extremely high taxes, I have agreed to play their games and follow their rules. But I am tired… of dumb rules. I am tired of black and whites. I am exhausted by extremes.

Peace out, Texas. I’ve always loved you. But – right now – you pretty much suck.


4 thoughts on “The Rant – about Texas and other things

  1. Thanks for not holding back. I live in Texas and I understand your feelings about guns and the violence that permeates our culture. Today, you could speak to your representative in the House about renewing the violence against women act. Maybe that would make you feel better. At any rate, you are not alone.

  2. Nice post.

    Things are always more magnified when constitutional rights are threatened. And yes, people are stupid – that’s not new.

    I still see love – I still feel safe. But I don’t watch the news and read everything online that I can. People only make us feel bad if we let them.

    P.s. We want to live in the country but my husband has a horrible bird allergy and meds make him sick and stoned. If you live in an HOA in a city – people do expect to not hear a cock crow each morning and worry about the feathers and dander that catch the air and spread everywhere. If there were chickens in our neighborhood he would be seriously ill with little recourse. If you live outside city limits – well, then that’s just dumb to get rid of them.

  3. I totally understand. I live in Fort Worth, Texas and I’m sick of the fear permeating every single thing. Let’s just LET GO AND LET GOD. Or whomever. Someone with more sense than most humans..

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