I feel a change lately. Can you feel it? It’s something in the air, it’s the coincidental occurrences of the same things to different people. It’s an anxiety, a lump in my throat; it’s confusion and wonder. It’s universal. Or am I the only one?
Is it since the election? I am not sure.
Is it since the new year? It isn’t clear to me.
Life seems more painful in general… and to everyone. Am I just seeing others’ pain because I am feeling it? Honestly, there is nothing for me to feel pain about, and yet I am feeling it.
Since the election and – around the same time – the Sandy Hook Elementary School incident, I have heard more about guns that I’ve ever cared to. I am hit over the head with guns – either to regulate them or for us all to carry them. It doesn’t matter really. I simply don’t want to think about guns… They are what they are. They have become no more important nor any less important – I JUST DON’T LIKE LOOKING AT THEM. I wish I didn’t have to. How did we get to this place?
Are people uneasy because of that? Has Texas lost its ever-loving mind?! There is this surge of… angry hatred, of “Fire It Up!” mentality (have you seen The Crow by any chance?). There are great divides where there used to be rolling hills. We seem to be getting further away from each other instead of closer together.
People are ill. Babies are dying. And yes, this occurs all the time – not just since January 1, 2013. But it seems like more babies are dying, tragically. Or at least it’s more illuminated to me now. People are sick – my grandfather being one of them. Lots of people are suffering with their health. Illness seems ever-present. Am I wrong on this? Either I am reading about how people won’t even eat rice because of the potential arsenic level in it, or I am seeing Girl Scouts sell a record number of extremely unhealthy cookies to us. It is so polar opposite. The extremes of the health continuum are being magnified. It’s either deaths and cancer – or raw foodists parading around with vegan necklaces.
Where is the balance anymore? Where is the middle ground?
Really, Texas? 250,000 of you signed the (pointless) petition to secede? That blows my mind.
My own city that began as a farming community has sent me 2 letters since November demanding I get rid of my 7 backyard chickens. Come on. It seems like the world is a big, important place with lots of things going on in it, and my chickens are part of the problem? A few chickens in someone’s yard are cause for concern? It is beyond me how this matters to anyone. It’s beyond me why it is against rules for me to keep pretty quiet, fairly clean, egg machines in my backyard. But – on the other hand – it isn’t a general cause for concern when huge chicken farms abuse and crowd their chickens on a daily basis, cut off their beaks and feed them the cheap and unimaginable.
But maybe I’m not comparing apples to apples.
Technically, of course, by living in my community, by purchasing my home and by paying my extremely high taxes, I have agreed to play their games and follow their rules. But I am tired… of dumb rules. I am tired of black and whites. I am exhausted by extremes.
Peace out, Texas. I’ve always loved you. But – right now – you pretty much suck.